It has been seven weeks since my last entry on this blog. I think even for an unreliable and infrequent blogger like me, that was a long absence. Then again, everything seems so different now that seven weeks sound way too short. To begin with something funny, I look very different, I haven't found the interest in styling my hair lately and I wear glasses on a day to day basis now as I am too lazy for contact lenses. Asim has become very unruly, the puberty rebellions of such a huge dog can be a bit straining from time to time. All at once everyday struggles have become much more complicated, the move, a new work, somehow all that was much more challenging this time. And right now my family is saying a very long and painful final good bye to my Aunt . It's not an unexpected good bye, we all knew that she would leave us much too soon for her time, but you can never truly be prepared for something like that, I guess.
So far this year has made me lose my lightness, something that always was a big part of the pictures I made for this blog. I have shot six films since I last been on here, but I don't like them. I never even thought like that about my photos before, I just took them out of the moment, out of the mood I was in and that was all. It was all a learning experience, to see the outcome and post it on here. Now I just don't like what I see, or feel like it looks like stuff I have done a million times before in the past, just better. I have missed blogging very much, much more than I would have thought. Still I suddenly feel a bit unfamiliar with this place...I don't even know what I'm writing about here, I'm not good with words.
I received many thoughtful mails from you and it is a lovely but unexpected surprise that quite a few new people decided to join this blog as a reader without me even updating once. I just thought I check in today and tell you where I am at the moment.
Hope u get back here soon, and with a lighter step. My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeletehttp://fashionfauxpas-mintjulep.blogspot.pt/
:)
ReplyDeleteCall it growing up. It's not for sissies. Then again, look how people commiserate even when you don't even know them, let alone approach them. You are too good to be left alone. If this helps.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you about your aunt. I just lost my grandma and even though I know she had a good life, it's still hard. My dog is 5 now and he used to be so terrible. It gets better, just keep working on it. I love your photography and your blog so I hope you stick around!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with your talented, gifted, skilled, wonderful soul :) I admire you.
ReplyDeleteBonjour, It's very nice to see you here again. Thank you for saying hello. But I'm so sorry to hear about your aunty.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you too.
Take your time, Take care x
You have a lovely gentle way with words. For my small part I have offered a prayer up over you. take care xx
ReplyDeleteI lost my uncle this year too and you definitely get the feeling of being 'one man down' in the family. Be gentle with yourself. You are grieving and it's a process full of every emotion under the sun. It will take time, but you will find the creative 'you' again. X
ReplyDeleteI hope you do continue to post pictures and words - I always look forward to your posts. I really hope the year gets better and time heals things... my grandpa died late last year and it was difficult but you just remember how wonderful the person was and the memories you have of them you can hold on to forever - when I think of him I smile now. <3
ReplyDeleteHi Marguerite,
ReplyDeletefirst of all, I am really sorry to hear about your aunt, no matter how expected it was.
then, I would like to tell you, I know how you feel: there are some breaking moments in life, when you look at what you've done for a while and you don't recognize yourself anymore in it - it's part of a growing up process, I suppose, and at first it isn't easy to adapt to these new feelings, but then it all comes natural after a while.
I'm sure you'll start liking your photographs again very soon.
I still like them a lot.
Losing family members is always difficult. Just remember that everyone grieves differently, and there is no correct or incorrect way to go through it. Do what you need to do for yourself, and give and receive lots of hugs. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for your trials with Asim, I have a friend with a big dog and she tells stories about how rebellious, unruly, and challenging he was when he was younger. She was patient, firm, and consistent, and you would never know he was ever that way if you met him now. He is the gentlest, well behaved (well... most of the time!) dog I think I have ever met. Be patient with Asim, because he loves you most in the world and eventually he will come around and settle. It's just difficult that he chose such a trying time for you to go through it. Maybe he senses you are having such a hard time and it is affecting him? Dogs seem to know these things.
I check your blog about once a week to see if you have updated because I really enjoy your thoughts, musings, and photographs. Your absence did not discourage me to continue following you.
Dear Marguerite,
ReplyDeletethere are these periods of time in one´s life when everything just goes wrong, out of our control and we feel lost as a child in a wood. Except that we have to find our own way to get out. Don´t feel sorry for not blogging, it is not your duty but a hobby and these are supposed to be done with joy. Taking a break is a good idea, you have more important things to deal with right now. And don´t worry there are always good things ahead, there´s always a sun behind the clounds and you´ll be fine again, I know it :)
Saying a good bye to a family member is always difficult. Do not think about the years she won´t be with you, think of the years she has been with you. Think about all the good things, all the love she gets and all the support you provide to her. Take your time for mourning, it is important. She will always be with you, in your heart and mind, and that´s the greatest thing you can do for her.
I´ll keep fingers crossed for you.
Yvette
Perhaps you could embrace this feeling, and this change you have in the presentation of yourself and wee (slash huge) dogs behavior. Photography is beautiful because even if we take photos that are somewhat dark, or show a messy side to things it still has that ability to transport us their and show us the picturesque nature of life even in these troublesome times. I hope you can grasp onto some inspiration and satisfaction soon. There is nothing like feeling a lull.
ReplyDeleteI have been struggling with my own photography, having moved to a new country, a country so far from anything I have ever seen. I don't even know how to find the beauty in it yet. but it's a challange, and I accept it. even if i fail!
I really like your pictures and I like the way how you share them on this blog!
ReplyDeleteSo it's okay when you feel that you should take a break or whatever, all human feels the same way
in some part life...
I hope you feel better and have less challenging soon dear.
I am one of your new readers Marguerite... sorry for your lost,you are right we will never be prepared for death,even when it's something expected.
ReplyDeleteMy feelings towards my photos are similar to your a lot of the times.
Sometimes all it takes is not seeing the pictures for a while,stop shooting film and when getting a better mood,feel a little more love (at least) for some of my photos*
I really love your pictures, hope you feel better dear.
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